Wednesday, 15 May 2013
The Lone Ranger, Tonto and the Pirate
I saw a trailer for that film The Lone Ranger the other day and it was a bit of a surprise because it did not appear to me to be anything like the original Lone Ranger. For a start off Tonto in the original was a Red Indian and it appears that in the remake Tonto is a pirate so I am expecting to here “White man speak with forky tongue kemosabe HAR HAR HAR ….Pieces of Eight” . I say this because Tonto looks just like that Robert Newton who played Captain Long John Jack Sparrow in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Blind Pugh is eaten by the creature from the black lagoon. I was told that Tonto even has a pet Vulture that sits on his shoulder and sings “I shot the sheriff but I did not eat the deputy” during a rather heated gun battle with the cowboys with black hats in an attempt to distract them for The Lone Ranger and his horse Silver, so called because as Tonto says “He cost heap much money, not so kemosabe . . . . me think kemosabe well ripped off”.
I really wonder why they had so much agro back in the days of the wild west because it is a known fact that if you wore a white hat you were a goody and if you wore a black hat you were a baddy. Although railroad owners who often wore battered top hats or even bowler hats were in general not very nice (some things never change). And they never had any problems with aliens they did not arrive until about 1950 when loads of them turned up all at once, probably waiting for Gary Cooper and John Wayne to get too old to shot at them. It would be good if there were aliens in The Lone Ranger then Tonto could say “Take me to your leader kemosabe” or as in the original, look at the ground and say things like “An alien passed this way many moons ago, he limp on both left legs and has patch over all five eyes and is called Dennis”
Anyway in other news WHAT is going on with the weather, last night we had the rain from hell (that’s a lot of rain) so we had flooding on all the roads, there was snow on the hills and between the hail stones today it was either nice and sunny or bitterly cold. The sooner dad gets the weather machine fixed the better. . . . . . . . . PHEW.