Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Ulysses the umpire and the Undead ukulele players


The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales
2013




U  Ulysses the umpire and the Undead ukulele players




Ulysses the Uruguayan Umpire looked uninspired under his Umbrella, his now usually impeccable uniform utterly soaked, leaving him undignified and looking for the entire world like the unkempt underclasses of Urban Ullapool.   

The final of the Underworlds football competition for The Unprincipled Cup (made of Uranium) between the Undead Ukulele players of Utopia   and the Undertakers Union had unexpectedly turned into a Universal and unwanted quagmire, something almost unknown in the underworld.




The Players had already been ushered off the undulating pitch by unicorns, but the umpire had been urged to remain like an unsung hero to uphold the principles of the game. U see once the umpire leaves the pitch in the underworld it is an unwritten law that the match is declared a draw, a result unwanted by the unruly and unsocial crowd; this is after all the underworld where unprovoked UNEXPURGATED utterances are UNFORTUNATELY uttered far too often both on and off the pitch.

As the Umpire unbuckled his belt his unbiased opinion was the match was unlikely to restart under the unforgiving and unrelenting rain, this unnerved the unsettled UNSCRUPULOUS crowd who stampeded onto the pitch and set upon Ulysses the Uruguayan Umpire and the Unicorns in an unprovoked attack which was not only unworthy, But a bit underhand.  Luckily Ulysses the Uruguayan Umpire was saved by a group of university undergraduates with kitchen utensils however it appeared the crowd had ruined his underwear in an UTTERLY UNMENTIONABLE way. Unfortunately the Unicorns were not so lucky and ran and hid in the undergrowth of uncharted and unexplored Forests far far away.

So after a long unimpressive and uninspiring day of UNNECESSARY violence unicorns have never ever been seen again anywhere not even in the Underpasses of the underworld and certainly never at a football match. 



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9 comments:

  1. This considering this is a not so good letter to write about is excellent. I had trouble find the one I did. I hope you make your 100th follower.

    Yvonne.

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    1. I find the letter U OK I just end up using a lot of UN things (not as in United Nations), I mean UN words.

      I am not too worried about follower numbers, it is more important to have good followers. Luckily I have a small group of followers who are great and make it all worth while.....

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  2. Utterly delightful. Unicorns rule.

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    1. Ooooo I am with Mr H below (a man of genius) about Unicorns they are a bit untrustworthy what with that pointy thing on their heads.

      I was always told never trust a man with a pointy thing on his head. OK yes Unicorns are not strictly men but in the dark without my glasses on.

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  3. Replies
    1. I agree Mr H and I know you have much experience with Unicorns, so I think that now confirms what I always thought.

      How do you feel about hedgehogs?

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  4. I saw Undead Ukelele Player ... and I thought for second, oh, it is typical for them to be undead, at least while actuaLLy playing.

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    Replies
    1. They are like that those Undead, They will insist on being Undead at the most inappropriate moments.

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    2. At least they don't do so at unappropriate moments.

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