Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Ulysses the umpire and the Undead ukulele players
The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales
U Ulysses the umpire and the Undead ukulele players
Ulysses the Uruguayan Umpire looked uninspired under his Umbrella, his now usually impeccable uniform utterly soaked, leaving him undignified and looking for the entire world like the unkempt underclasses of Urban Ullapool.
The final of the Underworlds football competition for The Unprincipled Cup (made of Uranium) between the Undead Ukulele players of Utopia and the Undertakers Union had unexpectedly turned into a Universal and unwanted quagmire, something almost unknown in the underworld.
The Players had already been ushered off the undulating pitch by unicorns, but the umpire had been urged to remain like an unsung hero to uphold the principles of the game. U see once the umpire leaves the pitch in the underworld it is an unwritten law that the match is declared a draw, a result unwanted by the unruly and unsocial crowd; this is after all the underworld where unprovoked UNEXPURGATED utterances are UNFORTUNATELY uttered far too often both on and off the pitch.
As the Umpire unbuckled his belt his unbiased opinion was the match was unlikely to restart under the unforgiving and unrelenting rain, this unnerved the unsettled UNSCRUPULOUS crowd who stampeded onto the pitch and set upon Ulysses the Uruguayan Umpire and the Unicorns in an unprovoked attack which was not only unworthy, But a bit underhand. Luckily Ulysses the Uruguayan Umpire was saved by a group of university undergraduates with kitchen utensils however it appeared the crowd had ruined his underwear in an UTTERLY UNMENTIONABLE way. Unfortunately the Unicorns were not so lucky and ran and hid in the undergrowth of uncharted and unexplored Forests far far away.
So after a long unimpressive and uninspiring day of UNNECESSARY violence unicorns have never ever been seen again anywhere not even in the Underpasses of the underworld and certainly never at a football match.