Wednesday 10 April 2013

Igor and the Indigo Iguana and other Interesting things


The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales
2013



I Igor and the Indigo Iguana and other Interesting things


The pet shop inspector looked with insular ineptitude at Igor the owner of the shop and said “it’s impossible to have an indigo iguana”, but Igor smiled and said “not entirely true” and that Ivan was indeed an indigo iguana from India. Then the pet inspector said that  an invisible Ibis is surely an illusion of the mind, but  Igor said “it was in its cage until you opened the door to investigate an let it escape and now its eating insects imported from Indonesia and it will be suffering from insomnia or even ill”.  The pet inspector was insistent that it was illegal to import and sell invisible Ibis and said he would impound it as soon as he had it incarcerated back in its cage.




Many Inspectors had tried to impound Igor’s improbable menagerie of implausible animals and insects, insisting they were most irregular and invalidated import restrictions. Then the pet inspector said what’s that incessant ticking and Igor said it’s an immortal Icelandic Alligator.

“What . . . . Immortal, Icelandic” said the inspector

“Yes it was given to me by an impoverished Iranian boy who kept him in an Igloo, it was a rather impetuous gift from the Inuit Indians of Iceland” said igor

“What . . . . Impetuous, Inuit Indians”, said the inspector, “I must investigate instantly”.

Igor said “Ian the Alligator is very placid as long as you do not irritate him although he is fairly impervious to insults. In fact the only thing that irritates Ian the Alligator is if you say an I for an I”.

“What” . . . . said the Inspector

“Yes” said Igor “just don’t say an I for an I”

“What  . . . . . An I for an I”………? Said the Inspector

Then in the blink of an eye the Inspector was gone; eaten by Ian the Alligator instantly.

And Ian and Igor lived happily ever after, although Igor did think to himself Ian will have indigestion later I bet.



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19 comments:

  1. LOL. I love these stories. "I for an I". Classic!

    Sometimes one forgets that there are a lotta words that start with "i". Or at least I did before visiting here today! hehe

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    1. I do find that if you start thinking about a letter and let a story develop in it own way, in general doing this whole A to Z is OK. Although I am not planning to do the hard letters like this, I did that last year and had to lie down for days to recover.

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    1. That is very kind of you Mr Flip I read your own 'I' and thought I will run off have a think for a couple of hours to come up with an instant funny remark before returning to make it sound like I am really witty. I am painting straight lines which as it happens makes thinking witty things rather difficult.

      Glad it amused you though, that is the great master plan.

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  3. Rob Z, have you ever tried to read your own posts out loud? The tongue kind of trips over itself before then getting tied into a knot. And then you end up, spitting at the computer screen and onto the child sat beside you, who is listening with great intent, until he has to go and clean his face with an antibacterial wipe. It's such fun! :)

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    1. AH yes Miss Lily I just tried that and I must agree it is a bit like a tongue twister. I hope Master Lil man is enjoying the progress of the fairy tale alphabet, although I must warn you no one dies tomorrow, in fact no one dies until the letter P now. But a poisonous pork pie takes out the entire town so it is a bit like buses.

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  4. Really fun! Just stopping by for the A-Z Challenge. Please check us out and sign up to follow if you like what you see. Juliet atCity Muse Country Muse

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    1. Many thanks you are very kind, I must admit I tend not to follow blogs on the first visit, I am a nice blogger and usually hold out to the second visit and a bar of chocolate, OK just the bar of chocolate really.

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  5. My husband used to have an iguana. Very clever use of I.

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    1. thank you. . . Iguana's are fickle things as pets and in general get called Iggy. . . . . and go pop when connected to a bicycle pump.

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  6. I came here 3 times today, got brain twisted in the first two lines but knew I had to come back and read it when I got focused. I admired, I laughed and now I'm leaving a comment to say ingenious :)

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    1. Very kind, coming back three times in one day is also very impressive. As a grumpy chap sent out into the world to work at the tender age of sixteen, I may have a tendency to overkill this A to Z. One day I might read a book and try and get a handle on what proper writing should look like....

      On the other hand I am rebellious and feel I should make my own path....

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    2. I couldn't close the page on Iggy - and he kept coming back to me - I hope you make your own path. Everybody loves a rebel...

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  7. Love it!! Stopping by from the A to Z Challenge. Incidentally, you have also been honored (cursed?) with nomination for the famed? Liebster Award. Feel free to ignore this if you are not into chain Blogging Awards, but if you feel like having some fun with it, take a peek over at http://taochild.wordpress.com/2013/04/10/atozchallenge-it-is-i/ for details and explanations. Keep up the good work! :D

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    1. Getting one of these awards during the A to Z is a good sign, so I will come and collect it although I am a bitter, twisted and rather cynical blogger so probably will not obey the rules. I seldom obey rules it is the nature of the beast (me).

      But it may be a couple of days till a response shows up as we are in the middle of this A to Z thing and I am still drawing pictures to go with the text.

      So many thanks

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  8. I bet he did have indigestion in the end. I liked 'I for an I' Very Inventive!

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    1. My spelling is so bad I often think of the sounds of words rather than spelling, so this means you end up with An I for an I.

      Thank for calling by Miss Laura....

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  9. I googled indigo iguana and got some websites. Boy, those people wiLL be surprised to find out there is no such thing. They might not be veRy bright, possibly have a low I.G. (That's eggXactly like an IQ but different). Intelligent iGuana. Isn't there a country in South America that is almost Iguana? Just to be sure I also made it search for indigo igauna. Sure enough, it found some.

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    1. I think the word impetuous is the perfect word for your sentence, because the im means not and the u means you and the ous means us and of course pet means tah dah! - pet, basicaLLy that Inuits can't have pets.

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