Wednesday, 20 March 2013
The Wrong Osborne and a Gooseberry Bush
Today was the first day of spring so I thought it best to add a few more layers of clothing because it was jolly cold, and while on the subject of jolly cold there was also a budget by Mr Osborne the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Now when I say Mr Osborne I do not refer to Ozzy Osborne because I think his budget would be a bit different and certainly far more entertaining, but sadly just as pointless. I have heard rumour that Poor old Ozzy may have finally lost the plot, well I guess he has had his moments over the years, but here in Britain he is a well loved institution and most folk will overlook the bad stuff.
However George Osborne the Chancellor of the Exchequer is a less loved institution and most folk don’t overlook the bad stuff and shout at him loads and quite often think he has lost the plot. He always seems a bit strange to me and I have never entirely worked out why, maybe it is because he reminds me of one of dads Steam Powered Zombies that I mentioned last night, but to date he has never turned up at the front door and hugged dad and said HELLO GRANNY. The other thing I can’t hear is if he hisses you see steam powered Zombies do hiss due to the steam, but the problem is people keep hissing at him and so if he does hiss I can’t hear it. Mum says he’s mad but the theory is that only someone mad would want to be Chancellor of the Exchequer . . . . . . Well mad or a zombie, me thinks.
In less interesting news I was attacked by a gooseberry bush today which was not nice those things have spikes all over them (the bushes not the gooseberries) I think it may have been protecting its young because under the gooseberry bush were baby gooseberry bushes, maybe that’s where that stupid saying came from about babies and gooseberry bushes that meant our class spent several days crawling about in the mud during the sex education lesson sometime ago given by Miss Davies at school, who finally cracked after a school inspection and ran off to become a nun. Actually I think the final straw may have been accidently running into Mr Jones the Alien hunter in the woods, apparently she told the headmaster she saw things that night she would never want to see again.
And finally I have caught the Ghost Writer disease and cant find a couple of cables that I thought were in my bag of important things, that has things in it although not two cables that I thought were…… I will blame the Cat because its smaller than me, or better still I will blame George Osborne everyone will believe that and BOO at him (again).