Monday 21 January 2013

The Great Road Stealing Conspiracy, the dark side of snow


Life is returning to normal as the roads sort of get cleared although the Ghost Writer who was meant to head off to work today said that he could not make it due to the wrong sort of roads.  Wrong sort of roads? It appears that according to the Ghost Writer the roads that have emerged from beneath the snow are in fact different roads to the ones that were there before. He says that he is convinced these are not the same roads and that they are inferior in quality and so they can’t be trusted.  It appears this is all part of a huge government conspiracy and that they have hired some mad bloke with a weather machine and no scruples (where did that word come from very odd) who for a large sum of money will hide all the roads under snow so they can be stolen. Strangely everyone looked at dad.



I can here you all saying BUT WHY (or was it HE’S MAD), the Ghost Writer is saying that due to the economic climate of Britain which is apparently also cold wet and covered in snow the government have hatched a diabolical plan to sell all our decent roads to China who are selling so many cars (posh ones) to the Chinese people that they are unable to make enough  good roads themselves and are buying up roads from struggling economy’s lead by unscrupulous leaders prepared to make a few pounds at any cost. So every time it snows a nano force of nano-bots replace another decent road with a cheap one full of potholes; even as I type the M6 is on its way to China and a replacement M6 has got speed restricts and bollards all over it to disguise its inferior quality. Apparently if you look under the M6 it has Made in Britain stamped on it, yes it appears in another diabolical twist in the story the new inferior roads are being made by  British teenagers on a work creation scheme using old Starbucks coffee beans and coffee cups, all part of our governments youth training scheme. And in order to save money on pensions because for reasons the government cant understand pensioners are demanding money for things like food, the government have agreed to the limited use of pensioners are hardcore.

Ooooooo what did I do today . . . . . . . . AH yes I remember now so that’s good.  


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8 comments:

  1. Did you really go line-dancing??
    It would seem that the nano-bots took our roads and shipped them off to China years ago. It's like watching Granny ten pin bowling,as little old ladies are scattered about the roadsides due to un-even surfaces and pot-holes...though what they're doing in the middle of the road in the first place, is anyone's guess. :)

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    1. It is rather strange because it appears that all the roads are ribbish all over the world with the possible exception of China. As for little old ladies in the middle of the road I think they may be a decoy to distract us from the fact that the roads are vanishing.

      I noticed I spelt rubbish as ribbish but then I though driving on roads these days is similar to driving on ribs so I feel it is very apt to say the roads are Ribbish

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    2. Ooo......... yes Miss Lily I did try Line Dancing once but kept getting right and left wrong so it turned into Line Stumbling which would amuse onlookers

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  2. People look at me strangely as weLL. I have neVer been known to steal roads. I wonder if there are any Robin Hoods who steal complete neighborhoods, and who would he give them to? Back to reading more ...

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    1. Tes, blaming the Chinese for bad roads is an eXcellent idea. Oh, sorry, that first word is Yes. The roads in Oklahoma are not veRy good compared to Texas. I must travel in Oklahoma for two more days, then back home. I guess I could say 'back diner' as weLL, as I do miss my griLLed chicken sandwich with bacon and Jesus, James, Sandy, Shannon and Kisha.

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    2. I'm sure at one time in the past roads used to be good and were looked after with pride, but that does not happen here any more. Repairs in the UK are very poor and often if a pot hole is fixed the tar falls out in just a few weeks. Sadly the pride of doing a good job has started to vanish from the modern work ethic, something I hope will not happen to your grilled chicken and bacon sandwich. Just imagine it full of pot holes and poor quality material it would be terrible.

      Oooo if you read Miss Lily above you will notice I came up with a new word . . . . .Ribbish; a bit like Tes so now I can say

      Tes these roads are ribbish.

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    3. I was reading your reply on a tiny screen of an iPhone and I thought you wrote "modem work ethic" - which we need to now define.

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    4. I will think about that maybe its a bit like Modem Man and that classic film Modem Times........

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