Tuesday 15 January 2013

The Aerodynamics of the Mad March Hare and how to teleport a spider


Well there I was having a busy day of Theoretical Mathematics, The history of the Byzantium Empire in History. The Economics of a double dip recession and Quantitive Easing in Economics.  The Aerodynamics of the Mad March Hare in Natural History. And how to teleport a spider from one large glass jar to another five feet away in Physics by modifying two old microwaves, rather than using Esmeralda’s steam catapult made for the school goat. I think Esmeralda had not thought about the fact that the spider was slightly less than half the weight of the school goat and so the headmaster was rather annoyed by the large hole in the ceiling. The Spider was rather annoyed at finding himself in the freezer section of the out of town supermarket too and as he is a rather large spider as I said about half the weight of the school goat who is, to put it bluntly a bit fat from living on school dinners and sacrificial pupils (Ooooo sorry I was not meant to mention that was still going on……..DAMN sorry Headmaster). Anyway yes the spider was rather annoyed and it was a bit of a shock for the supermarket staff who thought at first it was the goat, but realized when an innocent bag packer was spun into a ball of silk and taken off to a quiet corner to be eaten later. The only good thing is they will appreciate the arrival of the goat a bit more next time, once they have worked out how to get a large spider out of the store.



What was I saying AH yes I was having a busy day, then arriving back home thinking Ooooooo goody I can chill and have a quiet time looking at Mars (OK I have not given up yet I am stubborn) and pondering nice gooey food with thick cream and hundreds and thousands on. When all of a sudden I am in a muddy hole digging mud helping sort out some drainage that needs sorting.  Surely that’s not fair I am not meant to be in muddy holes in winter when it is not only wet and muddy but also cold. Still as the dog says life is all Mud and Sun 


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6 comments:

  1. Never try and teleport insects. Look what happened to Jeff Goldblum.

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    1. I know he became our Physics teacher which is why he has this grudge against insects. flies in particular but there are not many of them about in the winter.

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  2. Well, I lost anything I was going to say when I saw Tony's comment. So true. They'd have to make a movie called, simply, "The Spider." Bad mojo. It wouldn't draw as many people, because too many are afraid of spiders. That's why they had to go with The Fly.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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    1. Spiders do have that effect on folk and yes there are a few huge ones and poisonous ones and some that leap three feet into the air and can out run a man but in general they are all just softies who like a bit of a chat on the web with their mates . . . .HH AHHAH HAH HAH HAH AH HAHHAH HAHH AH HAH HAHHAHAHH HAHH A

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  3. KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

    Sorry Rob Z but I have a confession to make. I couldn't read all of this post for fear of seeing a close-up of the arachnid mentioned.
    My fear of the wretched things, is a phobia that blights my life. I cannot view images of them, even in cartoon form because I become shaky, breathless and start to hyperventilate. Funny thing is, I draw them all the time. Weird huh?

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    1. Remember Miss Lily here in the UK spiders are fundamentally harmless, they just look bad. I can look disheveled, crumpled and a bit manky and bad at times and scare folk (in particular the vicar) but behind the fangs and eight legs I am just an friendly critter that eats flies?

      Hang on I don't eat flies.

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