Saturday, 22 December 2012
the first day of the Post Apocalyptic World, Pheasants and floods.
Well today is very exciting (well OK its not) as today is the first day of the Post Apocalyptic World, I really should have gone out and explored the brave new world but the truth is the weather in the UK at present is terrible. It seems rather ironic to me that the best day we have had in a long time was yesterday, I suspect the great gods in the sky have been having a bit of a jolly at our expense. However for one small group the End of the World has been today, probably well within the acceptable mathematical margin of error so will count as yesterday, yes the local shoot have been in the fields near us and have zapped loads of pheasants. Being pheasants they work to entirely different calendars than we do, and their doomsday date is based on the one predicted by the ancient Dodo. I have been told that the legend tells of a fearsome creature that will arrive with unspeakable weapons that will make load noises and fell all before them even while in flight, obviously in the case of the Dodo the flight bit does not count. These terrible creatures will then rip apart all the birds and devour them mercilessly, laughing and throwing bits of them away as if they are but bits of uninteresting rubbish. The terrible fearsome monsters apparently look just like human beings and are known to the entire bird population as human beings . . . . . . . . .AH, yes I can see their point. It might explain why the turkey next door was looking a bit depressed, in fact where has he gone? He was about a few days ago . . . . .AH OK Christmas dinner YUM.
In other news, there is no other news at present except that
is going to be flooded for
Christmas and I would strongly advise the use of waterproof wrapping paper and
that a wet suit might be a popular present for the man who has everything. Well
he had everything until it was last seen attached to a Christmas tree heading
down stream with a duck sat on the top of it laughing at people on the banks of
the river with fishing nets. Britain
mmmmmm that looks suspicious, maybe we are not entirely safe yet