Sunday 9 December 2012

A tribute to Sir Patrick Moore, because WE SIMPLY JUST DON’T KNOW the answer


This whole End of the World thing gets more likely by the day, as sadly one of the few people on the planet with the knowhow and experience to deal with aliens, Space Gulls and huge cheese slices from the far reaches of the universe died today. Sir Patrick Moore who was only 89, was indeed Britain’s favourite amateur astronomer and one of the few people who might have been able to convince the aliens bent of world destruction that we are in fact not all bad.  Sir Patrick in his heyday would have put his monocle into his eye looked the grand commander of the alien fleet of  war machines square in the eyes and said . . . . . . . We simply just don’t know . . . . The alien grand commander thrown off course by the comment would then be subjected to a brilliantly informed subjective assessment By Sir Patrick Moore as he pointed to Ursa Major explaining that it is known to many as the Great Bear and that bears like cheese and get on well with seagulls. He would then pat the alien on the back shake his hand, say Well that’s all we have time for tonight and maybe apologise for the cloudy weather. The baffled aliens would never be able to destroy earth knowing Patrick Moore was in his garden looking at them through his telescope.



We are now dependent on Professor Brian Cox, and although I enjoy his appearances in the media his smile can look a little insincere on the odd occasion, well just imagine if the Alien Grand Commander misunderstood him smiling away and being all bouncy and enthusiastic or worse still Professor Brian Cox played some of his music to him . . . . . It will be curtains for sure.        



 We have now just about completed making our living room look like Christmas which is just as well as aliens are possibly turning up tomorrow (give or take the estimated error of 300 years). And we think we have a world first this year. Yes we have the Christmas chicken on top of the tree. The chicken says aliens will never find him sat on top of a Christmas tree provided I don’t go telling the world and posting pictures on him/her all over the internet. . . . . . . . . . . . . AH ….. DAMN sorry chicken 



Rest in Peace Sir Patrick Moore. 
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8 comments:

  1. Patrick Moore, or rather his show The Sky at Night, is the reason I bought a tele-me-scope just two short months ago.

    Having watched his show for a long time, it seemed to me that his health was failing him at a rapid rate.

    It is a shame he is no longer the well known face of Sky at Night. I'm sure what to make of the new guy they have been building up in his place, but I'm sure the space aliens will be gentle with him.

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    1. It is a very clear night here tonight and I have been out trying to get a photo of Jupiter by I think my telescope has been attacked by the aliens as I am having no luck and being out in the cold night with Man Flu is apparently the action of an IDIOT. I have said Patrick Moore managed it and lived to 89, I think he must have been hardier than he looked....

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  2. I'm still trying to work out if Mr Cox has a permanent smile on his face, or if his teeth are just too big for his mouth.

    RIP Patrick Moore. There goes another piece of my childhood.

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    1. I know what you mean, he was rubbish as James Bond but I quite liked him in The Saint . . . . . . . . . . . . . Da Doweee Da Da Do Doooooooo

      (thats Mr Moore not Mr Cox).

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  3. The Sky at Night will never be the same, I reckon Chris Lintott will take over now. Maybe he will start wearing a monocle.

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    1. It certainly never be the same I think they should rename it and change it and let the old show stay with Sir Patrick in the great cosmos

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  4. I have solved a giant problem. I just now figured out that aliens have surrounded the earth with a gigantic sphere that has a few places covered with mirrors, the rest being transparent. Then when astronomers look outward with their tell-me-more-scopes looking for more stuff, like planets reaLLy far away aweigh awhey (echo Doppler effect) then the astronomers are reaLLy seeing a reflection of the Earth in the mirrors of the sphere. So as the astronomers get stronger tell-me-more-scopes of higher resolution, the more they are going to think they see aliens on the '0ther' planets looking back at them AND looking just like them. Soon one of our astronomers wiLL hold up a piece of cheese near a tell-me-more-scope and then notice that the alien is ALSO holding cheese! Soon they wiLL attempt to communicate with cheese signals, with flags like semaphores, I think that is the right word. The real space aliens do this for amusement in several places.

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    1. If they use a reflector telescopes to look at the mirror they should be able to zoom in on the image on the mirror of the reflector telescope looking back at them and see a faint image of an astronomer looking at the astronomer looking up at the astronomer looking down. In fact there should be an infinite number of astronomers looking at an infinite number of astronomers. Which would be a lot of cheese signals. This would allow astronomers to pronounce to the world that there is an infinite amount of cheese in the universe making it the most abundant known substance, allowing speculation that the moon might be made of cheese after all.

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