Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Rabbits and Cows and The End of the World (again)
The poor old Ghost Writer has turned up looking like a zombie, he had to go into the office and look at a computer but the computer sort of responded in slow motion. This is something a computer can do at times and it is often connected to older computers, when I say older I refer to more than five years old as in IT terms five years is old. The result for the Ghost Writer was that what he thought would be a quick and moderately simple job turned into an epic all day long job which to rub salt into the wound so to speak ended when the computer crashed out meaning he has to start all over again after Christmas
He has just asked me if I have a piece of paper with a special security word on it because he will need it soon and knows I have it put away safely. . . . . . .AH DAMN . . . . . I was rather hoping he was not going to ask me that, but I have reassured him it is in a safe place.
Very kindly I have been made a safe place with a big sign on it saying
so I can put things in it that need to be safe, so as soon as I find them I
will put them in there.
Yesterday I wrote . . . ‘and cows when being stalked by rabbits (hang on that sounds wrong. This encyclopaedia might have been cheap but its rubbish)’ . . . . Well today I was reassured by the Natural History teacher that in fact rabbits do stalk cows but the whole affair is far more psychological than simply cow sees rabbit, cow runs and rabbit chases cow. That you see would look a little odd to us humans, but it appears it is a battle of wits as the cow will hold its ground but the rabbit being a nimble beast will hop about slowly circling the cow. Sometimes a herd of cows will be surrounded by a load of rabbits (called a warren of rabbits) that will rotate round the cows in a hopping fashion. The rabbits trick is to slowly speed up as it rotates the cows, the cows will keep their eyes on the rabbit to ensure it/they is not trying to sneak up behind it/them so the cow is forced to rotate on the spot, as the rabbit gets faster and faster so the cow spins faster. Well as you would expect from an animal not designed to spin on its axis the cow becomes dizzy and faint and falls over; it is at this point the rabbit will move in for the kill.
But it appears that rabbits are vegetarian and after a small nibble of hoof realise they do not like cows and so the cow once recovered will stand up again. It takes a cow at least twenty five minutes to fully recover which is ironically the memory span of the rabbit that will then see the cow in the field and start to stalk it (again) by hopping round it.
The Natural History teacher thinks that the impending End of the World is the result of the cows contacting their far off intergalactic relatives to finally stop this continual cycle of giddiness and falling over and have requested that their intergalactic relatives destroy all the rabbits. But the cows have sent slightly the wrong message resulting in a slight error in that the entire world will be destroyed.
So in short according to the Natural History teacher the End of the World is all the rabbits fault……….. Mum says the Natural History teacher is in fact an IDIOT……