Monday, 24 September 2012
The dentist and the flood (Ground-Hoffman Day )
Today was going to be our family trip to the Dentist so me mum dad and the Ghost Writer who insists on coming with us on the grounds that the dentist is very scary and sort of reminds him of Dustin Hoffman in the film Marathon man. I really would prefer it if he did not remind us about that, but he does each time; and hides in the back of the car making dentist drill noises shouting IS IT SAFE…….. Anyway today’s trip to the dentist was not like normal trips to the dentist because when we all got up and looked out of the windows the world was wet really wet as wet as it could be for wet. So setting off to see the dentist was not an easy task. The first flood we came too had a panicked driver in the way, but we got round them and through the next flood OK, then after a couple of miles we arrived at the next flood which was about 100 metres long with a sort of new river crossing the road but we got through that too. The new arrived in Forden a little village where the water was sort of gushing out of the drains with people poking sticks at it? And we got through that flood, but we than reached a flood that vanished off into the distance round a bend, so we abandoned the trip to the dentist and started home. The Ghost Writer was WELL HAPPY.
Anyway the trip home meant getting back through all the floods we have been through to get to the point we abandoned the trip. This was OK we did get back although it is annoying to be driving slowly through a long flood to have a ********* **** ****** ****** IDIOT as dad called him driving a huge 4X4 drive from the other direction at speed sending a huge wave over the car. Luckily the car engine and electrics were OK, but next time the dog gets to eat him.
We then meet someone who had driven through one of the floods too fast and had managed to kill all there electrics, by then we realized in really was dog eat dog so we waved and said it will dry out in the summer.
Then as we arrived home we thought too ourselves, we better check the fabled Minor Stream of Inconsequence, because it has never had this much rain and water in it before so I was sent to look because I was told I was the most expendable one. So as I crept up on the fabled Minor Stream of Inconsequence expecting a torrent of white foam and rapids I was faced with a vision of a gentile small stream that must have risen in water level by almost one inch. It is called the fabled Minor Stream of Inconsequence for a very good reason apparently.
After that is was just a case of keeping our heads down and shouting at the Ghost Writer who insisted on being happy because the rain had saved him from the dentist, (for now).
OOOOooooo I have been drumming tonight to the great river god
And I took a picture of the little flood just by our house although it was not as impressive as the others, but I did not have my camera then