Friday 7 September 2012

reconstituted mash potato a goat and continental shift


Today must have been one of the hottest days of the year so far, how come? it is now September and the summer holidays have just finished and we finally get summer. I am starting to think that the world is not suffering from global warming but global time shift, resulting in all the right weather but at the wrong time. We are told by the geography teacher that the continental shift is happening all the time, and I know that as you move round the world you need to adjust your watch.  So if the continental plates are moving round the world and we are not adjusting our watches to compensate it is no wonder it is all going wrong. I tried to explain this to the Geography teacher but he just said IDIOT; but I also noticed his watch had the wrong date on it and told him AH-HA you see your watch has the wrong date but he just said that happens all the time. You see I think I have made my point; we are not talking a few seconds here or there but many days at a time.

Home


The strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures did not have a good day today as it was the parade of the School mascot……. Yes the school goat is back, and in a tradition that apparently goes back to 1963 the goat is carried aloft and cheered before getting a hearty meal of Fish fingers and reconstituted mash potato. Nothing but the best food for the school goat on his first day back, we were rather hoping he might manage to eat all the reconstituted mash potato but sadly there were huge amounts of it and even the goat hardly made a dent in it. When I say hardly made a dent I mean it; apparently one of the cooks got the mix wrong and so tomorrow a team of workers with pneumatic drills will be working in the kitchen in order that all will be well for Monday. You can tell when school dinners have gone wrong when it breaks your plate as it hits it.

OK as I was saying the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures did not have a good day today. Running ………  well I say running it was more of a stagger. It appears they are not yet use to the steam powered bionic legs they have………. Sorry distracted again, I was saying running at the goat with a huge machete shouting I HATE GOATS or to be more accurate ****** ****** ******* ******* GOATS, we thought the goat was a goner but as he looked up attempting to chew a particularly large piece of reconstituted mash potato the machete hit the reconstituted mash potato and shot out of the hand of the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures, burying itself in the school sign just a few inches above the headmasters head. Almost another rolling head incident, anyway the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures had to sit outside the headmasters office all day…

It’s dark now I have taken a picture to prove it, I bet it should be light really but we are in the wrong place.



.

15 comments:

  1. I agree with you about the GTS, the global time shift. If you wait about 47 years it wiLL change to Time Shift Global, and then another 47 years to get to Shift Global Time, and then another 47 years to get back to Global Shift Time ....oh no! Time doesn't shift in 141 years, oh no! Oh wait, we'LL aLL be dead by then, neVer mind ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you sure you will be dead in 141 years Mr ESB, that is rather a bold statement to make. Bearing in mind that if the continental plated keep moving 141 years could be anything from say 140 to 142 years.

      Still one thing is certain our blogs will be out there somewhere still telling the world of what life is life now. I feel proud knowing that in the future my daily blog of everyday life will be an important reference to life now.

      Delete
    2. My friend Pearl from Minnesota wrote about instant potatoes in her blog today!

      Delete
  2. Well I think you're right, your geography teacher just doesn't want to admit it, we all know teachers don't like being wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Miss Laura your acknowledgement that I am right is very reassuring, knowing as I do from reading your blog what a level headed person you are.

      Please note I mean sensible and intelligent when I say level headed, I do not mean you have a flat head. In fact I don't think I know anyone with a flat head, although I must admit to knowing people who have a flat.

      Delete
    2. I believe there are rather smaLL places on my skuLL that are relatively flatter than most people, but they covered with hair for at least a few more years. By relatively I mean to include just my relatives. I also invented a dandy new word yesterday for an elderly lady named Ann. She wanted to have a word that meant a little more than "somewhat" so I suggested "morewhat", which of course created "mostwhat" and "allwhat". I wiLL let someone else go the other direction to get "nowhat" and "justbarelywhat". Now I realized, no, that nowhat could be confused as no+what and now+hat.

      Delete
    3. There is also littlewhat and bigwhat. I think there may be something rather profound in the no+what, now+hat because it implies a no+what will become a hat.

      I suspect back in ancient times some of the more complex cultures of the world may have have established many rituals around the whatwords or wordsofwhat, the key words that anchored it society into a notion of WHAT?.... Thus allowing man to explore and learn

      the WORDSOFWHAT reaching its pinnacle at the ancient temple of Angkor Wat.

      Delete
  3. I had some spam posted on this post this morning and although it is deleted automatically (sorry spam its a tough life), it made me laugh quite a lot, because it was spam and was not written to be amusing.

    So this is what they said

    Hi theге! Thiѕ article сοuldn't be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept preaching about this. I am going to send this information to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing! Visit my web site classic tantric massages..

    Please note how they start 'Thiѕ article сοuldn't be written any better!'...... These spammers do like my blog they are great.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I did have a question to ask about the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures but have been distracted by the fabulous Lynyrd Skynyrd.

    Glad to see the goat back. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not just the goat but also Esmeralda but it is still a secret...

      Delete
    2. Ooh, though she scares the bejesus out of me, it will be wonderful to see how Esmeralda has fared since her unfortunate accident.

      Delete
    3. She is closer than you think Miss Lily, have you wondered why the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures and hates goats so much. And also seems to have a rather large number of bits missing.... But give her, her due she has perked up a bit since the start of the Paralympics and is hoping Steam powered bionic legs might sneak past the judges unnoticed...

      By the way this is still top secret and must not be written anywhere on my blog or it will ruin the plot... ... .... ...... .... AH.. . . . . DAMN

      Delete
  5. Did you know you're my first stop of blog reading for the day? There's just something about your sense of humor that connects with me...and I laugh myself silly.
    This entry reminded me of the Arlo Guthrie song, "Alice's Restaurant" which is a favorite around here. It's a simple song, but he does a 25 minute monologue that is stinkin' hilarious. We all know it by heart. Anyway, there's a repeated phrase:
    "twenty-seven 8x10 color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and paragraph on the back of each one explaining how each one was to be used as evidence against us" He says it at LEAST ten times. The robot thing cracked me up.
    My sons' school mascots are the Wildcats and the Raptors. They'd kick your goats ASS with or without mashed potatoes.
    Tina @ Life is Good

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOW they allow Raptors into your sons school that is very cool. Still the goat can fend for himself quite well, and I would not write him off in a fight as long as he was convinced Raptors tasted of pork pie......

      Glad you enjoy the Blog (diary) it is a lot of work and writing everyday can only last so long before life and the universe close the window of opportunity. Although I am still trying to head to 1,000,000 words before it is complete. That is not inclusive of comments....

      Ooooooo the Arlo Guthrie song, "Alice's Restaurant" is a cool song although some time since I have listened to it.

      Delete