Wednesday, 12 September 2012

An encounter with the Olympic legacy, and the out of town supermarket

After much fluttering of eyelids and smiling a lot the goat thinks it has managed to rekindle its old friendship with Esmeralda, it is an uneasy friendship because I suspect that Esmeralda has a cunning evil plan. However if Esmeralda should by accident slip and fall then the goat will try and eat the remaining edible bits of Esmeralda. Just as a passing observation a goat smiling and fluttering its eyelids is not a pretty sight, I hope I do not have to witness them making up again. As you might expect the first thing that happened was that the goat was catapulted into the out of town supermarket through the usual route of the skylight. This was fine except I was then sent off to get the goat back which was not fair.

In the huge out of town supermarket it is always easy to find the goat he just loves the fresh vegetable section, unfortunately both me and the manager spotted the goat at the same time. So the manager then starts shouting at me and throwing bananas at us, it did not help that the goat was eating them, but I hate bananas, then store security joined in the chase. It was OK for the goat because Wednesday is pensioner 10% discount day so he vanished into a group of little old ladies blending in and saying ooooooo yes look at the price of that, terrible. As for me I don’t look like a little old lady so my only means of escape was to climb the air conditioning ducting and leap out onto the roof through the skylight that the goat had arrived through. I then had to abseil down the outside of the building while a group of little old ladies and a goat shouted look it’s the queen. This happens a lot since the Olympics everyone thinks the queen leaps off building or out of helicopters it is all part of the Olympic legacy. However it is not easy to abseil down a building with a man throwing bananas at you while I was trying to do a royal wave at the same time, while a goat chewed the end of the rope and a group of little of ladies cheer and wave flags.

Luckily when the manager tried to grab me, the little old ladies thought he was an assassin and attacked him with their umbrellas while the goat finished off the last of the bananas giving me enough time to get away.

Other than this the day was fairly quiet and I must admit not much happened yet again although as I write I am having a smallish bonfire and appear to  be being watched by a white rabbit, it could be worse it might have been a goat…….

I note that the world outside of my world appears to be degenerating again; the world outside my world is not always a nice place…. 



  1. The second paragraph reminded me a bit of an old Barbara Joan Streisand movie, not sure which one, maybe, "What's Up, Goat?" (1972) - if not, she should be contacted immediately for a remake of that classic.

    1. Thanks for teaching me the word abseil. I knew what it was but didn't know that name. I found a youtube video for the world's fastest 100 m abseil, performed in London, at 8.99 seconds.

    2. I think its interesting that the world record for abseiling 100m is only one second faster than running 100m. I am not sure how long it would take to free fall 100m, I hope it is not 8.99 seconds

    3. I found an answer on line of 4.52 seconds. The acceleration from gravity at the earth's surface is about 32 ft per second per second