Friday, 31 August 2012
Alien creatures in conifer trees. More conclusive proof of alien life on Earth
We are talking aliens today because I have discovered they have already arrived and are hiding in conifer trees and lots of them too (aliens). As you know a bit back we had two large trees cut down, one some sort of spruce tree with spiky leaves and long cones and then the other, some sort of regular conifer tree. The spruce had a critter called spruce aphid, which I believe is green with red eyes which we were told was killing the tree off. The other was just in the wrong place and too big.
Today I have been continuing the bonfire I started yesterday; I love it when they are still glowing the following day. But as I was moving the mounds of conifer cutting and throwing them all on the bonfire I notice movement on the ground, THINGS? There were loads of them; I really mean loads as in loads…. Ok they were not big but I thought the best thing to do was try and get a photo and do a zoom job to get a good look at these strange things and…………………. ALIENS we have been invaded by aliens so don’t panic just stay away from conifers…… No best to PANIC
So here is my theory on these small things, wriggling about on mass on the ground and falling out of the branches as I tried to carry them to the bonfire.
I have previously mentioned that from time to time I have thought I have seen nano-space craft, this may seem odd to one or two of you who are thinking why send a tiny spacecraft to a planet; what is the point. Well a tiny spacecraft needs much less energy to escape gravity so can be powered by a sub atomic particle engine which will allow it to travel close to the speed of light, because of its small physical size. So a tiny spacecraft can travel fast and on much less energy and arrive on an alien planet discretely. Lets face it, a huge thing with flashing lights and twenty foot monsters in silver suits is a bit of a give away.
So in order to take over a planet you need a way of transferring alien DNA into the bodies and minds of the local planets life forms. Mmmmmmm… So what is the best way to do this……. Well I would say a small tiny worm like critter that can bore into the body of its host then mutate the host using a secret DNA transfer process, which turns the unsuspecting host into a huge twenty foot monster in a silver suit.
It was therefore decided we needed a plan to thwart the aliens and this is what was voted for by a majority verdict with one objection (me). Everyone would lock themselves in the house with the windows closed and I would throw the entire conifer on the fire as fast as possible, but I had to wear gloves. Then I can sleep in the shed for a few days to see if I turn into an alien…… NOT FAIR….. I don’t want to be a huge twenty foot monster in a silver suit (actually it sounds quite cool)……. Mum just said IDIOT.
Ooooooo I didn’t quite get it all burnt either, because I ran out of steam, something that would not happen if I was twenty foot high……. Mum said IDIOT again