Thursday 12 July 2012

The Creature from the Black Lagoon is 28% more likely to eat the pears than The Blob, but 42% of Things do not like apples


The Murk and gloom are taking there toll on the masses in Great Britain and it continues to be grey and wet on an almost constant loop day after day. In School with the pupils starting to look rather zombie like the headmaster decided today would be a ‘non uniform day’. He thought we could all dress up and make the place chirpy and fun, full of colour and excitement. He was a bit surprised though when over 93% of the schools pupils turning up as The Creature from the Black Lagoon , 3% turning up as man eating giant slugs, 2% as The Slime Creature of Atlantis,  !% as The Blob,  !% as a Thing and Esmeralda as Lady Ga Ga.


Some Stats for my blog for today show 99% of all readers run away


Of course this is not what the headmaster had planned, and the trip by 53% of the pupils to the fish and chip shop at lunch time in the grey wet gloom and murk  resulted in 28% of the towns population panicking and 5% of them hitting the pupils with umbrella’s. Of that 5% almost 98% of them in fact were little old ladies, and of that 98%, 71% 0f them had a preference for attacking the pupils dressed as The Blob; which when you bear in mind is only 1% of all the pupils in the school and 39% of them went into town for fish and chips meant that 18 pupils got beaten up by little old ladies more than The Creatures from the Black Lagoon.

We managed to get back to school before 57% of the police turned up in 23% of the police cars but by then 88% of the fish and chips were soggy and then just when we thought if could not get any worse the Mathematics teacher asked us a question; he said “Well you now have enough information to work out how many pupils are in the school, I expect 15% of you to get this right before I eat 5 apples and three pears which I will share with six people equally, and one who will get 45% of an apple”

Sadly we never got to find out what the answer to any of this was because Esmeralda catapulted the Maths teacher over the school in the direction of the out of town supermarket with an accuracy of only 8% so he landed on the headmasters car, which was 100% damaged.


    
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14 comments:

  1. This reminded of those adverts on the tele box for womens things and potions where 80% of 714 people agreed that teeth were visibly less wrinklier after three weeks.... I'm sure they just make them up on the spot. or at least 87% of them are anyway.

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    1. Yo Mr H we are 96% pleased to see you and of the 714 people asked, they said " That Mr H is a great man, the best teeth in the north, although 87% said they thought you were made up,sorry I mean wearing make-up.

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  2. If only maths had been this interesting and most importantly, this funny when I was at school, then maybe I would have come away with an ACTUAL qualification. (I got a 'U' for 'unqualified'.)
    *Bows in head in shame.*

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    1. Do not bow you head in shame as you re comments and posts would indicate the mind of an 'A' student not a 'U' student.

      And although it is all interesting you will note I never give the answer so maybe I am a 'U' too |(not the band)

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  3. Not even 1 from India. Shame on me.

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    1. No shame those statistics were just part of a day and it is always good to know you continue to follow from time to time.

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  4. Great representation...of strange things.

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    1. Thank you I never know how I will resolve the story as it progresses, I was 87% happy with this one

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  5. So many percentages...the pupils in your school are obviously much more imaginative than they were in mine, we used to just wear regular clothes on non-uniform day. How boring! :)

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    1. Yes I always find it strange that on non uniform day everyone puts on jeans and all the pupils look the same again

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  6. This is a very informative post, what with all of the numbers and statistics. I feel more informed than I did before coming here.

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    1. Lovely to see you Miss Stephanie I hope you are well. It is interesting that plasticine is statistically easier to bend into shape to form the correct thing that mathematics is.

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  7. I think statistics are often made up and usually manipulated if real. I'm convinced that 50% of blogs rely on this tactic and you have proven my statistic. This is the second blog post I've read today and the other one was about how much fun ice skating is--that blog used no statistics.

    Lee
    A Faraway View

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    1. Thank you for visiting Mr Arlee Great Sage of Blogging, it is very kind of you to visit my humble blog. I have always worried that the spelling mistakes and slightly quirky story line has frightened the more traditional bloggers such as yourself away.

      I would have to agree that statistically, ice skating is more fun than statistics, although potentially slightly riskier.

      Ice is at least 100% harder than water I think?

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