Saturday, 2 June 2012

The Queen and the crown and Olympic torches

Ah yes…. It has happened, Britain has retuned to normal, it is grey and wet so all I can say is “Typical it is always raining in Britain, what we need is some hot weather for this jubilee thing” ……HAH HAHAH Hah hahh hah ah hahhah ah h hah hahhah ahahah ha. I have been on the roof again today and we are still having Aerial problems. There is only so much time you can spend on a roof being shot at by a dog with a machine gun. Sadly for me today’s re-enactment was King Kong yet again but at least it was nice and cosy in the gorilla suit.  The cows have vanished off today, it is weird they were there last night in the field so I am not sure what has happened to them.

Mr Jones was shouting up at me on the roof that the aliens have been communicating with the cows and have decided that the cows are in fact rather friendly and so according to Mr Jones the aliens and the cows are on an intergalactic search for a cow friendly planet. Devoid of dogs wielding AK47 machine guns, the so called legendary Planet of milk and honey. The dog has just said that he has never Herd of it and is now rolling about in hysterics and has suggested that the cows are looking for the wrong planet and should be looking for the udder one.  I think what he is saying is that they have gone the wrong whey…….. HA HAHAH H AHHAH hah ahh ahah hah haha haha ha haha hah

I have pointed out to the dog that this diary is read in several non English language speaking countries and these sorts of bad jokes will be lost in translation, a bit like the cows and the aliens really.

OK back to the more practical elements of the day, I have been making a crown as in a royal crown out of cardboard apparently the Queen is worried that the real crown is a bit heavy (it is very heavy as it happens). So I have been ordered, sorry asked to reproduce one in cardboard so it is light and can be worn all week without the queen’s head falling off. The heads falling off queens is an age old problem, history is littered with them. So I have rattled something out quick which should be finished tomorrow, all ready for some big event Tuesday. I have warned her if it rains, what ever you do don’t go walkabout among the masses. I think I have convinced her talking to the masses is a bad move, she did ask if I knew what had happened to ones cows, but I’ve said I am not making cardboard cows even for a queen.

On the subject of cardboard I have started an Olympic torch for the Olympic sculpture; I have noticed they are turning up on ebay now (Olympic torches), as dad says in the old days they would be proud family heirlooms, handed down for generations then sold on ebay. Now people cut out the long protracted middle bit and go straight to ebay….. Such is the world of modern man……. No cows, dogs with machine guns and the desire for the instant.  



  1. I have a wide variety cardboard in my inventory of recycled things. I even recycle bicycles. With the "bi" in bicycle it lends itself to more than one cycle, or recycling, but a unicycle with 'uni' of one meaning, would seem to indicate only one use. I believe I have one cousin, a first cousin named Scott, who could ride a unicycle. I can only ride a unicycle eXtremely momentarily, with a very loose definition of the word 'ride'.

    1. I too have tried this unicycle thing and also spend a very short time on it plus I could not find the handle bars

  2. My twin brother is a to-be torch bearer in July and is keeping his torch. I've also started to notice the torches on ebay (one sold for 150,000!!!) and have successfully persuaded my brother to keep it as an heirloom. Why would people buy them if they weren't important? He is wondering what to do with an extinguished torch but I'm sure he'll find some space on his wall to hang it up in.
    M. x

    1. The torch that sold for 150,000 pounds was a hoax bid and to the best of my knowledge has not been sold, and is still owned by the owner who is sulking(although I know nothing). There are a lot of torches and a family heirloom is a good choice. Or it could be turned into the blingiest cigarette lighter in the world.