Friday, 1 June 2012
On Top of the World and the strange minds of cows
I have been back on the roof again this afternoon but in order to take my mind of the fact I was on the ridge of the roof I decided to do one of my famous film re-enactments. So I was pretending to be James Cagney in White Heat, mum said IDIOT and the dog rushed off to get his AK47 machine gun which he keeps for emergencies. To tell the truth I think he spends too much time with Mr Jones in the woods looking for aliens. And it is not ideal to greet aliens with an AK47, Although there is no denying it is what is likely to happen, well that and Mr Jones offering his body for experimentation yet again.
Where was I? Ah yes on the ridge of the roof fitting mums new all singing and dancing shortwave high gain aerial, as favoured by all leading spies, but as always this is secret I and I am not allowed to mention it………… AH, I did………. DAM.
For some reason it is not working correctly, and so I will have to return to the roof tomorrow to see what the problem is. I think being shot at by a dog with a machine gun does not help one bit so I will need to find a different film to re-enact, the dog has suggested King Kong again but as I have pointed out King Kong gets shot at again by guns. That might explain why the dog is smiling, so I need to think of a film by tomorrow or I will be trying to fix the aerial problem in a gorilla suit while being shot at, and probably waving union jack flags at passing cows as part of this jubilee thing.
I mention passing cows because we have new neighbours. A herd of dairy cows who have moved into the field next to us, now that the silage is cut and gone to where silage goes? Sadly I may know about spies, double agents, aliens, monsters and vampires but I have very little knowledge of cows. Yes they eat grass and produce milk, and poo a great deal, but when it comes right down to it what are they thinking. I saw them looking at me on the roof this afternoon and then looking at one another as I ran up and down ducking and diving to avoid being shot by a dog with an AK47. But not once did they reveal what they were really thinking, mum has just said IDIOT but I think cows are quite clever myself, mum obviously does not agree because she has just said IDIOT again.