Monday, 21 May 2012
The Queen the wasps and the curtains
The school master has left a suggestion box in the main hall for ideas on how the school should celebrate the arrival of the Olympics and the
Queens sixty years as
Queen. As you know I am already committed to making the Cultural Olympian,
although he will not be allowed near the school, not because he is banned but I
am not foolish enough to let a bedlam of school children near it? What is the
plural for a school full of school children? I’m sure it must be a bedlam.
Anyway the first suggestion that I have put in the box is to have a run with all the participants dressed as queens. Apparently according to Esmeralda that could go terribly wrong and thinks the headmaster will reject that straight away.
Ah the wrong Queen Elizabeth............DAM
I have also suggested we could make a giant wicker queen and set fire to it with Olympic torches, but Freddie thinks that sounds a bit satanic, I did say it’s the queen and the queen is not Satanic …….. AH apparently someone says they think she might be because she never goes to the toilet……… I didn’t know that.
Maybe we could have five huge ring cakes and have scantily clad queens leap out of them………AH OK I am told that we would have our heads chopped off or alternatively Esmeralda says it might end up like the run with the wrong type of queens?. This is trickier than it might appear because the risk is that we end up with a street party eating burgers and hog roast and lemonade, waving flags like they did in 1284 and 1572 and 1784 and 1832 and 1912 and 1963 and 1981 and 2000 and 2005, (sorry I had to guess those dates because sometimes the research is just not worth it).
For reasons that I do not understand it appears that several wasps are interested in the curtains by the sliding doors that go from the dinning room to the little decked area outside the dinning room. These are not posh curtains (or wasps or doors for that matter), we inherited them from the little old lady who used to live here (not the wasps….I think?). In fact no one would mind if the wasps wanted them and ran off with them. The dog has just said “interesting, the wasps are drawn to the curtains” and has fallen about on the floor in hysterics, I have thought about telling the dog to pull himself together but I think it would just make matters worse, as it is I have made it worse by saying “It seams sow” and the dog has added maybe they are blind or possibly venetian. I just tried to tell him to stop by he says he needs to take the window of opportunity when its open and thinks all the wasps have a glazed look in their eyes.
Enough of that I have to go out shortly to a meeting about the queen that I thought was on a different day so ***********. This therefore is it I‘m off now.