Saturday 12 May 2012

the Great Green Grass Ghost God and the first Swallow of 2012


It is Saturday and it has been very sunny indeed as predicted by the weatherman on the wireless, yes he finally got it right.  After our usual game of Paper Scissors Stone I had to cut some of the grass, there is just too much grass to cut in one go. Only the damn fickle lawn mover with instructions in twenty five languages that are to put it bluntly rubbish. Oh yes put the throttle control in the fast position is fine but then there is no picture or no indicator on the throttle control to say fast position….. OK the point is it was ******** to start as I sort of flooded it to which mum said IDIOT.

Once it was going I discovered the grass was just a bit too wet still, and just a bit too long, so I had to use the strimmer anyway, so all that hard work fighting with the controls to get it going was to no avail.  



Dad said he was glad I got lumbered with the beast (the lawn mover) because it is well fickle and he hates all those strange instructions, it reminds him of IKEA.  The dog said he knew what the problem was and that the only way to cut grass without having any problems is too appease Gordon the Great Green Grass Ghost God with greetings and a gift. So we headed out into the woods to a small clearing with a gift, the first swallow of summer; I think it was a Swallow it was hard to tell after the dog had roasted it in a pie with its little beak poking out of the top of the crust. We actually saw three swallows today well possibly swallows (maybe they were house martins), anyway the dog added them all to the pie to make sure that   Gordon the Great Green Grass Ghost God would be suitably impressed by our gastronomic gift which he swallowed (the swallow pie) in one go. He then said “From now one all you grass will grow long and strong and fast”, hang on that is not what we want, all that means is that the grass will need even more cutting. But before I could complain at the dog about things he had scurried back home to play croquet and bury bones.

OK that’s it time to go; to summarize (the short but dull version), it was sunny and I cut some grass 


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10 comments:

  1. Grass is so last year, don't you know?
    Pea shingles Mr Z. Pea shingles is the only way to go...and no, I'm not talking about my current medical condition.

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    1. What like one of those Japanese Zen gardens. I don't think the Shropshire hills are ready for that yet. However we do have peas growing both in the greenhouse and outside, so very eco warrior.

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  2. I noticed today that the font you use on the page of web has a's and o's that very similar in lowercase, so the word 'swallows' looks fairly symmetric from a distance or a first glance or especiaLLy when both first glance and distance are used. I noticed that the font also changes for the comments as you are writing them. They are in one font while you prepare the comment, then when it is published on the blog, the font changes. I wonder if this was planned out in someone's fabulous grand design for their part of the universe, or if it is merely an oversight and an accidental outcome. The word universe has that uni on the front meaning "one" (I'm guessing) so maybe with the comments waRpInG fontwise, the comment world may be part of the duoverse......I think I wanna live in the duoverse. Don't teLL my mother, she might try to squash my plans, or think I am somehow involved in the remake of the movie K-PAX.

    While proofreading the first part of this comment I found a horrible number of mistakes but delightfuLLy saw that I had used 4 two letter words in a row, which is great fun for some folks: "or if it is"

    I realized that if there would have been a word that starts with a vowel I could have slipped in an an too, to get five in a row:
    "or if it is an"

    WeLL, I hope you are having a wonderful dark part of a Sunday morning being fast asleep at this very minute, and that aLL the grass proves overcomeable.

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    1. Hello Mr ESB, I do like you replies they make me have to think..... DAM. You may have noticed that when I say DAM, I don't say damn. I have been told I should say damn and not DAM but I prefer DAM.

      Yes that font thing is odd although I write my posts in the same font as I post them, as they are all kept as part of my huge and growing manuscript ready for the very nice Steven Spielberg to read.

      In "or if it is" is it "or if it is, is it" or not?

      HAH AHHHAH HAH HH AHAH HAH HAH HAH HAH ha hh ahah hahaahha

      Sunday morning I was a table top sale in the village and I have bought a chicken, I will add a picture later

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    2. I cracked up laughing when I saw the chicken sitting in front of the web page with the picture of my 93 year old penny. I wiLL do a screen shot of your chicken and then post it back to that same blog post under the penny.

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    3. Thanks Mr ESB I have reciprocated so we are in danger of vanishing into infinity like the light between two mirrors.

      I quite like this game I have not come across it in any blogs before

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  3. You have such an imagination! :-)

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    1. I did an IT course once with a woman who was the most brilliant IT person I have ever met. She once said to the class pointing at me "look he might do these things correctly but I don't want anyone else to try to do it the same way".

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  4. I much prefer the long interesting version! I'm glad we don't have any grass to cut, although at the same time I would love grass in our garden!

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    1. I prefer the long version too, if I had more time they would be even longer but sadly I have several other commitments. So they are all a bit of a rush.

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