Saturday, 12 May 2012
the Great Green Grass Ghost God and the first Swallow of 2012
It is Saturday and it has been very sunny indeed as predicted by the weatherman on the wireless, yes he finally got it right. After our usual game of Paper Scissors Stone I had to cut some of the grass, there is just too much grass to cut in one go. Only the damn fickle lawn mover with instructions in twenty five languages that are to put it bluntly rubbish. Oh yes put the throttle control in the fast position is fine but then there is no picture or no indicator on the throttle control to say fast position….. OK the point is it was ******** to start as I sort of flooded it to which mum said IDIOT.
Once it was going I discovered the grass was just a bit too wet still, and just a bit too long, so I had to use the strimmer anyway, so all that hard work fighting with the controls to get it going was to no avail.
Dad said he was glad I got lumbered with the beast (the lawn mover) because it is well fickle and he hates all those strange instructions, it reminds him of IKEA. The dog said he knew what the problem was and that the only way to cut grass without having any problems is too appease Gordon the Great Green Grass Ghost God with greetings and a gift. So we headed out into the woods to a small clearing with a gift, the first swallow of summer; I think it was a Swallow it was hard to tell after the dog had roasted it in a pie with its little beak poking out of the top of the crust. We actually saw three swallows today well possibly swallows (maybe they were house martins), anyway the dog added them all to the pie to make sure that Gordon the Great Green Grass Ghost God would be suitably impressed by our gastronomic gift which he swallowed (the swallow pie) in one go. He then said “From now one all you grass will grow long and strong and fast”, hang on that is not what we want, all that means is that the grass will need even more cutting. But before I could complain at the dog about things he had scurried back home to play croquet and bury bones.
OK that’s it time to go; to summarize (the short but dull version), it was sunny and I cut some grass