Tuesday, 8 May 2012
The Goat and the Moon and the Archers
At school today the super moon was discussed, the result of the moon passing close to the earth and clipping the secret short wave radio mast on the roof of our house that mum communicates with her spy friends with. And which I am under strict instructions not to mention in my diary……….. ………. AH, mum has said IDIOT now. The result of course was Esmeralda was out trying to catapult the school mascot (the goat, I realise there are new people following in cyberspace these days unaware of the goat) into the path of the moon. It is all very well but then the maths teacher used this to get us to calculate possible angles and velocities in order to achieve her goal.
The outcome of all the calculation seemed to be threefold
1 the Maths teacher was well happy and in his element scribbling lines of trajectory on the blackboard for hours
2 The goat was happy as during the daily trials he landed, as he has many times, in the fresh vegetable section of the out of town supermarket. They have banned the goat several times but his entry though the skylight is always a surprise to the manager.
3 We have finally proved that even with the moon skimming dead low, so that we all need to duck as it shots over, Esmeralda’s Steam powered catapult is just not good enough. And as the headmaster has banned rockets after the last incident where governments got a bit grumpy. Despite the goat holding the altitude record for a goat in a rocket giving the school is greatest achievement to date
4 …. AH……… no one expects the Spanish Inquisition
Once I got home I found Sooty the Cat had a baby Thrush and although I managed to get it from him it was in shock and the poor little mite died (Sooty is now told off). As it happened just after that mum planted cat mint and both Sooty the Cat and Heavy Harry the Cat were well spaced out trying to sniff it. In the end the plant was surrounded in canes to stop them destroying it…….. The dog said IDIOTS; he says that but you try and get his favourite Russian Vodka off him and he is just the same. And the lambs in the small holding behind the house were running up and down the field like demented loony’s, there were about fiffy of them so it was rather amusing and me and the dog had a small bet. Sadly as ever I lost, thinking about in hind sight saying “I think the black sheep will win” was OK until the dog said “I think the white sheep will win”. Bearing in mind there was only one black sheep.
O my God my diary has turned into an episode of The Archers tonight how did that happen (if you are an international reader and are unaware of the radio program The Archers………… Lucky B**********)