Sunday 13 May 2012

Britain's Got Talent, the dog and the Chicken


I was at a table top sale this morning in the village hall, we were selling a few fragments of things to the punters from Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop. Mr Beelzebub said he really did not want to take some of the little things down in the dungeons with him. Things like posh bars of soap, as he said, “When you are bathing in the eternal flames of damnation the last thing you need is a nice creamy soapy lather to keep your skin soft, particularly when most of it has be burnt off”. So mum was shifting a few items in our quirky village event.

 As it happened me and the dog got wind of a chicken, we like chicken and both thought WELL COOL Sunday roast, YUM. The dog in particular was very pleased because we heard; well were told by one of the stall holders that a dog won “Britain’s Got Talent”, which is some TV show that people watch for some reason. The reason the dog was pleased was he had a bet on at the local betting shop that the dog would win because as he put it “Even a dog that can not speak Latin or do Maths is going to be more talented that most humans, they are rubbish”. Yes the dog is like that just because he can speak Latin, Japanese and invented the perpetual motion machine, and does my maths homework, although it is best it I don’t mention that in my diary….. …… ….. AH.



When Blogs work together then things can be awesome. 
Many Thanks Mr ESB, fellow member of RATs 
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Sorry distracted, back to the chicken, I didn’t get to see the chicken as I was told it was safe in its cage but I could make an offer so I started at twenty five pence. But I ended up in a bidding war with an anonymous bidder and ended up paying thirty five thousand eight hundred and sixteen pounds and twenty eight pence for the chicken. I have been warned about getting carried away in auction biding wars before and mum said I was an IDIOT, I think she might be right it is rather a lot for a chicken.

Two things made the situation slightly worse, the first of which it appears the other bidder was the dog, Secondly the chicken is a knitted soft toy and I can’t eat it. The only remotely redeeming thing is it is a bit cute and it apparently likes one or two blogs including mine.

Still that’s six months pocket money blown just like that.

The dog has suggested that we enter the chicken into next years “Britain’s Got Talent TV show” but the chicken is protesting and says he has got standards to maintain. 


Ooooooo by the way we are about to blow today's profit in a decadent Chinese takeaway meal YUM 

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18 comments:

  1. That is one expensive chicken! I think it could easily win Britain's Got Talent though :)

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    1. Yes but it is cute so its OK. And trained correctly I'm sure it might win Britain's Got Talent

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  2. Wow, that's an expensive chicken. It's quite cute though :)

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    1. It reminds me of The Clangers a bit so worth every penny

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  3. You just can't put a price on a chicken like that.

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    1. I totaLLy agree. You would want to put the price on a tag with a string, no adhesives with stickers, so as to maintain the pristine-ness of The Chicken.

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    2. I agree with both of you and so does the chicken. Although she is demanding a name, I suggested Cock Robin but the chicken said IDIOT

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    3. Most of the chickens I know are named Tyson. They appear to come from either the Arctic, or Oppositearctic.

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  4. Low on pocket money? That happened to me once shortly after I got marred, I mean married. I wasn't able to buy any pockets for a couple of years although I was finaLLy able to find a pocket repair store. So you might wanna look for a pocket repair store, and if you can't find one, try looking for a pocket watch repair store. When you find a pocket watch repair store, ask them if you can watch them repair your pockets. Then you wiLL know how to repair pockets, and possibly even learn how to make pockets, thereby aLLowing you to not be under the heavy burden of no pocket money. Oh, you might then be able to actuaLLy make money from pocket production! Then during your peak season after getting reaLLy busy you can go out into street and proclaim to the crowds, "I'm a peak pocket person! I'm a peak pocket person!" Then aLL the women wiLL adore you, especiaLLy the police women, and they wiLL put you somewhere special where peak pocket people play aLL day for a very low pay.

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    1. Cor blimey mate, it fell of the back of a lorry

      Here want a new motor John

      nudge nudge easy peasy

      Give me a pony and I'll scratch yrr nose

      Lovely lovely squire

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  5. Oh God! First Stuffed Chickens and now Peak Pockets.

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    1. As they once sung in a musical a bit back

      You got a peak a pocket or two Suuuuuuuuunnnnn. You got a peak a pocket or two... La La lala la la la

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    2. All I need is a broom somewhere,
      Far away from the scold nightwatchman's stare,
      And one amazing hidden chair,
      Oh, wood nunt that, be loverly.

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    3. Lots of chocolate makin' lots of 'eat.......

      AH DAM I have set fire to the wrong one

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  6. I think Britain's Got Talent is the only show on television that fails to live up to its own title.

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    1. Sadly I have never seen it but I have been told it is very popular?

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  7. Yum chicken or Chinese food. Down with hunger. and I also liked the music. TY

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    1. Yes I did have sweet and sour chicken but I cant tell the chicken or it will sulk, it has had a bad night with the cat.

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