Monday, 23 January 2012

Is science like an iceberg and will a goat be able to stop a revolution


One of the science teachers has said that science is like an iceberg. We did at first think he meant cold and drifting about aimlessly, but apparently not he said only ten percent was above the surface of mans horizon and the other 90% was out of our view and as of yet unknown to us.  The dog agrees so he must have been right then.  One of the class (George) did ask him how he knew this but he demonstrated the principle by throwing George in the swimming pool.

It was a good demonstration because George is very good at science but very bad at swimming and we did notice it was true only ten percent of George was above the water, although it was his feet. However one of the other pupils did point out that if George has two feet above the water and only ten percent on him can be seen he must be about twenty feet tall, and George is not that tall.  George vanished completely then and while the science teacher and the other pupil discussed whether this meant science was science or an act of God, the Headmaster leapt into the swimming pool to save George. George was a little annoyed afterwards because he said he had found the plug at the bottom and was just about to pull it out when the Headmaster dragged him to the side of the pool.  George reckoned if he lowered the level of the water which represented mans horizon he would be able to convince the science teacher that his iceberg theory was wrong and it is not mans knowledge of science that is important but the horizon of the unknown.

Esmeralda by now had got bored and set fire to the waste paper bin and her desk saying that it represented mans ability to get well irritated by clever middle class scientists and intellectuals and the like telling the working class masses why they do stuff and should love living on the seventy third floor of a concrete high rise designed in the Bauhaus style with a lift that never works. She was about to start a class revolution to overthrow the science block when the school mascot turned up, leading to a distraction as it has never forgiven Esmeralda for catapulting it over the school. So while she was defending herself behind her burning desk the rest of us went home on the school bus which had turned up an hour and a half early due to an unknown blip in the space-time continuum. The bus driver said it’s a funny old world I swear I saw an iceberg earlier. I told mum what the bus driver said and she said IDIOT

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8 comments:

  1. The amount (percentage) that an iceberg sticks out of the water is based on displacement which is a function of relative densities of the objects. Even though an aircraft carrier is made of steel, much heavier than water, it has a lot of hollow space, so the aircraft carrier only sinks as far down into the water in order to displace the same volume of water that equals its weight. SO if you want an iceberg to stick out of the water farther, and therefore increase the science knowledge of mankind and dogkind, all you have to do is hollow out part of the iceberg while maintaining water tightness in the hollow chambers without changing the outside appearance of the iceberg. I hear there is an opening for a cruise ship captain in the Med Sea.

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  2. I cant bring myself to trust scientists. they're all shiftY types with their long white coats and bunsen burners.
    i dont mind that brain cox fella though, cos he's northern if a bit soft (he always looks like hes going to start crying for some reason) but if he came down here with his sciency chums and they started on with those big words - BOY OH BOY WOULD THERE BE TROUBLE.

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    1. You are right about these scientists Mr H as Mr ESB points out below he is a scientist, and he has all these scientific ideas and seems as mad as us. It is OK for us to be mad because we are not scientists trying to build a huge death ray inside a hollow iceberg with thoughts of world domination (OK that did crosse my mind a bit just the once).

      Anyway that Brian Cox; I know he Northern but me smiles just a bit too much for my liking. He knows stuff and it not telling us. I try and avoid big words as I can not spell them.

      I know what you are thinking Mr H them thats easy its just T H E M

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  3. Oh B.H., did you know that I am a scientist? I don't mean to startle you, for I am the kindest and nicest of the scientist, for that kicked me out of their world three years ago minus 4 days. I spend a lot of time alone with with my friend Cooper, a mix of German Shepherd and Husky. Some of the other scientists thought I was insane. I am not. I was just sad, eXtremely. I am no longer sad.

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    1. I think the hollowed out centre of an iceberg sounds like the perfect location for a mad scientist bent on world domination in a James Bond movie to me. In fact I would not put it past the collective minds of the worlds governments to have already thought of this. And in order to reduce the risk of this happening, they have already started on a policy of global warming to reduce the number of suitable icebergs.

      Yes any Scientist capable of coming up with hollow icebergs in order to confuse his fellow scientists needs to be watched.

      I think he might be The Abominable Snowmad Scientist known to his friends as Goldnose because of his 22 carrot nose. HA HAHAH HAHAHHAH HAHAH HAH HHah hah hah ha aah ahahha ahhah haha and I bet he would have a fluffy white cat

      (its just like being back in book one again)

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    2. The British Navy eXperimented with ice in the form of Pykrete, a mixture of ice and sawdust during WWII era. They wanted to build giant unsinkable aircraft carriers. There is a wikipedia article.

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  4. We might be mad here but we know our facts well done Mr ESB we get more like Wierdapedia every day (just remember us RATs thought that up first I think so we will sue if anyone else uses it ...... NO we will we mean it Wierdapedia,well COOL.

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    1. NO thats ours so unless you are a RAT then no Wierdapedia unless some wants to offer us loads of money.

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