Friday, 2 December 2011
The Goat, the Prime Minister, the teachers pension, the automated banking and a haircut
This week last year was National Sausage Week, one of the great advantages of a diary is that as time passes it becomes more interesting to look back on events from previous times. In celebration of the fact it is a year since National Sausage Week, we are having sausages tonight. It is also a year ago yesterday that Auntie Karen was playing Smoke on the Water to the Penguins at the Zoo. It is amazing how time flies.
Can time fly I’m not sure about that, I do know that a fly can time things, they have a very good sense of timing and this makes them incredibly good at synchronised line dancing which they love. It is all the legs that do it, there is nothing quite like a large swarm of flies line dancing to some bad ass country blues music late at night at the Grotty Shack Disco Shed. It is not a popular venue with people but the flies love it, they also say it has a great BUZZZZZZzzzzzzzz HA HAH HAH HAH HAhah hah hah hah hh hahh ha…… Yes mum has said IDIOT again now; still this is all a great distraction from the day.
Esmeralda was catapulting the schools lucky goat over the cricket pitch today. I am not sure why it’s called the lucky goat because that is not lucky even if Esmeralda insists it likes it, and the headmaster appears not to be fussed because its not cricket season.
I am working on a Christmas list along with some other pupils to come up with ideas to improve the lot of the teachers next year. The first one we had was to reduce the teachers pension make them pay loads for it and not allow them to retire until they were seventy five. This idea was the direct result of getting extra homework last weekend so we thought we might get our own back; that Mr Cameron said he thought is was a great idea, he likes it so much some of his mates thought they might try it out. William whose dad works at the local bank once had this idea that instead of people phoning up his dad and getting him all annoyed; they could be given automated options to choose from and then more options and then more options, plus inputting all their account details off the key pad. Williams dad thought it was a great idea, which is why mum and dad got well frustrated today and dad chain sawed the phone in half (again). They also bought paint and other things some of which are of absolute no interest to anyone. Ooooooo and dad had his haircut again he does this once or twice a year, he says he has a budget of £15:00 a year for hair so two cuts is all it will buy, he thinks hair is natures way of telling us we should be shamblely.
Well cool but not as good as a swarm of flies