Wednesday, 19 October 2011

The Norse burial site, Viking Kings, Sven Blood Axe and the Angel of the Norse

It was a cold  grey day with heavy showers and in general not very nice, Captain Flint the Parrot says it’s times like this when he wished he was back perched on the mast of a trusty pirate ship in the Caribbean singing Sea Shanties and plundering  gold and Brazil nuts. So the day was very subdued, even when we all saw our first Christmas tree of the year. It’s a bit like swallows they fly south for winter.

It is interesting how our parallel worlds work; here I am making the Angel of the Norse for Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop on the dining table when it is not full of food. When on the news on my rather nice 1935 Ecko AC76 valve wireless they said that a Norse burial site has been discovered in the North of Scotland. They know it’s a Viking King because they were buried in the Viking long boat.

They used to do that with the King so he could get back to his home among the spirits, although they never supplied a crew or even a parrot so apparently quite a few got lost according to Mr Beelzebub in the early days of the Vikings. During this early period of Viking History Sven Blood Axe turned up several years late too see Mr Beelzebub who promptly torched his long boat as a warning to all the other Viking Kings. Who took note of his warning and from that day on all Viking long boats were fitted with radar and satellite navigation. This was quite an innovation in those days and lead to the Viking dominance of the sea, its funny how things work out.

I was explaining all this to the history teacher at school today and he said IDIOT well that is not nice; it is one thing mum saying IDIOT but entirely different when a teacher says it. I told him I was off to she my friend after school to tell him what the teacher said about his tale and that Mr Beelzebub’s tales should always be appreciated or else.  Strangely I did notice that when I left school the History teacher’s car had been mysteriously buried in a burial mound in the car park and there was a large crowd of policemen scratching their heads. What has made it worse for the history teacher is that it is now classed as a Site of Special Scientific Interest and will need a proper archaeological dig which will take a few months to do. And the History teacher has lost all credibility by jumping up and down shouting sod the bloody ********* ******** archaeological dig I want my ****** car back

I told mum about the History teacher and she said IDIOT 

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