Monday, 29 August 2011

Jimi Hendrix’s original baby blue ukulele. Miss Svetlana and The Brothers Karamazov, and a small green alien.

It’s the Ghost Writers birthday but we will not linger on this fact as dad sent him down into the cellar to sort out yet another pile of old computers. It is also the August bank holiday Monday, traditionally the busiest bank holiday of the year when all the British rush off to the coast as a final fling before autumn and winter set in. The Lemmings do something similar in the woods only their final fling in off a tall tree.

The result of both events however is the same ……Chaos and a bottleneck of British tourists or lemmings, however the lemmings remain polite and patent as they limp away from the bedlam of their final fling unlike the tourists who fight to the last man (or bucket and spade).  Sadly however the bank holiday has arrived too late as autumn has already arrived, Even the dog has said that the air has changed and it will be a long autumn. He has spent the day working on the Mathematics of climate change but at the end of the day he gave up and said How long’s a piece of string; me and Captain Flint the parrot have measured a piece of string for him it was three feet and two inches but mum said IDIOTS.

As many of you know I have many portals between the world of cyberspace and that of the real world one of which is my blog and I am pleased to note that my friend Miss Svetlana …… Wordsmith and Poet is now a member. This is good as her writing is important to her and if my incoherent rambling tale of nonsense was a complete incoherent rambling tale of nonsense then she would have quietly run away again. We are all hoping she is writing a grand Classic Novel in the style of the great grand classic Russian novelists something like; The Brothers Karamazov, Anna Karenina or The Master and Margarita.

As however I am not a writer as such, just someone recording his daily events I am able to spend a couple of hours in the woods with the dog and Mercedes going UGGGGGH Lemming,   UGGGGGH banshee’s,  UGGGGGH tree, UGGGGGH alien space craft. UGGGGGH strange small green man with seven arms. OK I have slightly exaggerated that last bit, a bit. It was a small man in one of the airstream caravans wearing a bright green kagool although he did appear to have seven arms. He said its was his grannies fault she liked to knit him jumpers and told him he would grow into them, unfortunately that is what happened and it now costs him a fortune in gloves.

Finally the Ghost Writer has opened his presents; Miss Tiggy and Chris the Phantom of the Opera have given him a Faberge diamond encrusted silver brooch in a classic Art Nuevo prehistoric bird design. His wife Barbara has given him Jimi Hendrix’s original baby blue ukulele which he wrote Purple Haze on and then played the classic cover of When I’m Cleaning Windows on the now lost film of The Old Northern Rock Scene. Miss Issy gave him Jimi’s Beginners guide to Ukulele with his hand written notes in like Hey Joe Whats for dinner ……. Man I just had this great idea for a song; and Kris and Tracy have given him the Mk2 Steam Powered Plectrum Making Machine. He is now eating cake and is a happy man (OK he’s a grumpy man …….. he is always grumpy). Sorry this has got very long tonight.

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