Monday, 4 July 2011
The dog that eats cars and a game of tennis
Well everything was very quiet today until at school I was told they wanted me to go and take a huge big growling monster of a dog off the road that had been chewing cars. They said they thought I could do it because the dog is huge and growls, but is not as big as Pythagoras the Dog and it cant speak Latin or do Maths, just growl at people and eat them.
That was not very fair I didn’t want to be eaten by a big dog but as it turned out it was a big soft dog that looked very scary and only eats cars and people because it is a bit bored and hot. So I was given some rope for a lead and once it had that on just wandered about following me in school while the other pupils screamed and ran off in the other direction. Anyway its owner turned up in the end and said it had eaten its cage but big dogs do that sometimes. And as it happens so do rabbits which are very good at eating cages. We once had rabbits called Ruby and
Doris and they specialized in eating themselves out of cages even when dad made cast iron cages with multiple padlocks and electric fencing. They used to like to eat plants but only the inch nearest the ground even if the plants were ten feet tall. so they were not very popular with Mr Jenkins next door or his cat Fluffy as they ate Fluffy the Cat’s bed on the assumption it looked like a cage.
The dog has now gone home, as I have and the dog and Rusty the Robot Dog are playing tennis. I think Rusty the Robot dog might be winning but the dog thinks it’s because it has the advantage of six legs.
Captain Flint the Parrot is the umpire and Pirate Pete is the ball boy and me, mum and dad, Mr and Mrs Jenkins, Heavy Harry the Cat and Fluffy the Cat are watching and eating strawberries and cream. To tell the truth I’m eating hot sausage rolls and cream (Yum) and Sooty the Cat is hanging off the bunting but then he is only little and due to recent operation is not very keen on ball sports.