Monday, 2 May 2011

The May Bug, the CIA, the takeaway curry and GOD

May is the month of the May Bug, they are incredibly stupid insects that do everything rather badly they fly at night and navigate by the moon only they spend there nights crashing into windows a lot. Then when they do get in to your house they run out of steam mid flight and fall usually on your head. For that reason they are rather unpopular.

Last night was the first night of May Bugs for us and they were bashing the windows loads. Mum is not really a fan of May Bugs because one once fell in her coffee while she was drinking it, it then fell in her soup and finally froze to death negotiating a large scoop of ice-cream while she was trying to eat that. Dad says they are real bugs planted by the CIA because he hit one once and it fused and loads of microchips fell out of it and it had property of the US government on the bottom.  The dog insists they are Gods way of proving Charles Darwin was wrong because they have evolved into a rubbish design over the millions of years they have been around. So God is sort of saying HAR HAR HAR a bit like Pirate Pete really; although I think I should point out Pirate Pete is not God even if he tells you he is, which he sometimes does after drinking quite a lot of rum from his illegal still in the cellar which I am still not allowed to mention. AH.

Me and the dog went looking for the May Bugs today but only found the one picture included. I don’t think they can eat so they have a very short life, dad says that just proves his theory but mum said IDIOT. So for a few nights now it will be a case of shutting all the windows once it’s dark or they will be all over the place, Pirate Pete is wondering if he could train one to say pieces of eight and pretty Polly but we have all said IDIOT now.

The ghost writer by the way said he has been on his feet a lot today and they are a bit on the sore side and now plans to rest and have a takeaway curry for his dinner. NOT FAIR I think I will go and lie on the kitchen floor with the dog and if we both howl loudly and point at the takeaway menu a lot maybe we will get one. YUMMY

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