Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Ticking Gnomes and herds of snowdrops
Dad fixed a gnome clock that has not worked for ages, but we all remember why no one had fixed it before; it has a very very loud tick. Not that we don’t like clocks that tick and chime but this one is a bit over the top and sounds like the end of time is coming. Mum has said that because it sounds like the end of time we should give it to Napoleon Beelzebub for his shop.
Dad was rather reluctant to do that at first because he said it’s not easy to fix gnome clocks because gnomes are fairly timeless objects and most gnomes don’t get on well with tics. In the end dad changed his mind and decided Napoleon Beelzebub could have it because the news on the wireless was not good what with earthquakes and political violence everywhere. And this combined with a clock that sounds like the end of time and the mad stare and sinister smile of a garden gnome looking at us all day was too much for dad.
We also worked out that a gallon of petrol is nearly £7:00 or if you are one of my American friends 10 or 11 dollars. Dad said it was OK until they sold fuel in Litres and then it all went wrong, He recons they should bring back imperial measurement and do away with all that metric and digital rubbish, he complains about that a lot really I’m sure I have mentioned it before, and probably will again soon.
Mercedes was wondering why there are so many snowdrops growing everywhere because in the Great Metropolis they cost at least three or four pounds for a little pot with a couple of plants in. She said the field over the road must be worth several hundred thousand pounds. But we all just said there are millions of snowdrops in the country, they are like sheep only don’t move about or go BAAH or eat grass. Pirate Pete said he thought he had seen a herd of snowdrops running across a field chasing a mole but mum said IDIOT.