Saturday, 26 February 2011

Square hail stones and a drop of rum

What a funny day for weather, it has been lovely and sunny sometimes and when you go out in the sun it then suddenly pores with rain. It is Mercedes's last day before she returns to the Great Metropolis and we tried to go for a walk but we got attacked by giant hail stones.  Pirate Pete was rushing about collecting them to put in the freezer.

Pirate Pete said that giant hail stones are the best thing to put in his rum at night so he was collecting as many as possible. He does have the advantage that he can run at fifty miles an hour because of his steam powered bionic legs that dad made, so he was able to get loads of giant hail stones in fact I think he has filled all the free space in all our freezers and we have three or four of them. Mum and dad sometimes buy frozen legs of lamb in bulk for the dog, they used to padlock the freezers to stop the dog pinching them but the dog is ace at picking locks and if that failed it just bit them off.  Pirate Pete is well pleased he said it will save him loads of money because he has had to buy his giant hail stones from a man in town and they cost loads because the man says they come from the rain forests of Antarctica and are shipped to him specially in a refrigerated helicopter. I did say they just look like ice cubes to me but Pirate Pete said the man said they are square because of the weather conditions in the Antarctic. Dad has told Pirate Pete he will take his flame thrower and the dog to see the man in a bit and he is sure that he will not have to pay for anymore ice cubes once his present supply runs out.

Mercedes said it is much more interesting in Mid-Wales than in The Great Metropolis although the lack of small designer shops and cafes is not good. I did point out that we have Big Bills Greasy Fur Ball Café and Napoleon Beelzebub’s Very Strange Victorian Curiosity Shop so we don’t need anything else because almost every other shop or café in the country are clones. Dad thinks it’s an alien plot because there is no other reason for finding a Costa Coffee or Big Mac in Siberia or the middle of the Kalahari Desert. Mercedes said she likes Costa Coffee, so maybe she’s an alien.

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